That’s a sharp outfit Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an empire-class battleship, leaving thousands to drown at sea…because it’s so sharp.
Mako wins. Mako wins even if all she was allowed to use in her bread is pickles and spam. Mako wins if she can only cook with her left hand. Mako wins if her oven catches fire.
Mako wins.
Mina doesn’t even go on the show with the idea that she’s going to win, she goes in with the idea that she’s going to be a LEGEND. She has a series of right outfits and quick quips set up, and she outshines even the hosts, everyone loves her, and she goes on to get her own talk show.
She goes home in week one because she can’t fucking cook.
Hotaru is that person who always comes up with technically perfect bakes but no one can really remember her because she keeps to herself and slowly wills her popovers to rise.
Rei declares that she’s going to be the ultimate winner, and she has some amazing tricks up her sleeve. Apparently that ‘amazing trick’ is ‘box cake mix’ but she makes Paul Hollywood cry once when he criticizes her.
Pluto burns everything because she has no concept of time.
Michiru comes in, sets a box from a cake shop on the work bench, walks over to the shelf of liquors for baking, pours herself a measuring cup full, and drinks it while everyone bakes. She serves the cake in its original box.
She stays until week three because her family owns the studio.
Usagi ends up most gif’s but it’s just a reaction gif of her bursting into explosive tears and dramatically flopping onto the floor when her souffle falls.
Haruka is the girl all of tumblr ends up thirsting for and there are entire tumblrs dedicated to her loud shirts and hair flips. She bakes literally everything in a 9 inch round cake pan.
She stays until the finale, because Michiru’s family owns the studio.
you know what i really love about eternal eternity though
by GOD, it’s so over the top. you think the title’s redundant, and then the lyrics go on to talk about REPEATING THROUGH THOUSANDS OF ETERNITIES searching for each other in the darkness, fucking red strings of fate, sea metaphors, wind metaphors, extremely dramatic rose petals, holy shit. that is like, seventy boatloads of grandiose destiny shit, and it is amazing. because sailor moon as a franchise has always gone on at length about usagi and mamoru’s miracle romance crossing over time and space, and media in general just loves the destined star-crossed romance trope… for straight relationships. always straight relationships.
but you know what? those two lesbians just fucking NUKED those guys outta orbit with their histrionic destiny yearning. you’ll be led by the moonlight to your love over and over, usagi? that’s cute. now try THOUSANDS OF ETERNAL FUCKING ETERNITIES for size
Okay, so Mamoru’s powers are somewhat vague throughout the series, but he is very obviously tied to a less direct, non-combative role. Lots of weird sensory powers and healing etc. The most aggresive he gets is a la smoking bomber, but even that’s just sort of a generic burst of power. BUT WHY THEN does he have a magic extendo-cane??? It’s a stick that grows??? It doesn’t fit in with any other power in the entire show why can he control the length of this cane?
i sent this to @lady-malediction after screeching internally for a minute because like… they said this too!!! like a day ago!!!! “megan wHY THE CANE”
anyway
theory one: everyone else got a toy! the outers have the talismans+deathsicklegothstick, jupiter has the lightening rod thing in her tiara, mercury has a computer and VR glasses, venus has the crescent compact, moon has the disguise pen, mars has … ok maybe stuff from rei’s day job dont count as Space Toys but
so everyone (some terms and conditions) gets a special thingy, not even including transformation items. how do they work? Space Magic. what does mamoru get? a migraine from transforming too fast i guess?? a free suit?? (which is ENOUGH damn boy my gay ass can’t even get a cheap suit why you fighting in a nice space tux SHARE)
the universe looked upon this inbalance and was like. ‘he’s a nice boy, give him a toy’ and presto, tuxedo la smoking stretchy stick
the universe thinks mamoru is a puppy and tbh are they wrong???
theory two: ok so tuxedo mask in the classic anime was awakened specifically to protect sailor moon, against mamoru’s will. so we got Tux, hanging out, protecting people, having NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK HE’S DOING because a) he has no SilMil memories b) he has no Real Life memories and c) his space magic didn’t come with a manual in the form of a talking cat. And he has all this power! this healing power sure, but its Not to be Sneezed at, and is kind of going in blind.
so one battle, the cane gets chipped after he does something stupid like throw it across the room, on the jump down from a lamppost, and the healing power (which has NO CONCIOUS CONTROLS) just GOES. and GOES. and tux is like “the fuck” because what. is he supposed to do with a infinity cane? he drops it and it goes back to normal but if he lets some power into it it Does the Thing, and eventually he gets the hang of it
theory three: the earth, it grows things. like canes. i guess
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