tcdoherty

robb-greyjoy:

careful-knives:

cazzounteschio:

robb-greyjoy:

robb-greyjoy:

robb-greyjoy:

robb-greyjoy:

robb-greyjoy:

robb-greyjoy:

…………………………………… okay I’m reading/correcting a novel for a family friend and it’s not bad, but sometimes it has very awkward formulations and sometimes has…………………………….. things…………………………..that turn the reader into the blinking guy gif meme.

like this rich gay dude has silk sheets and you’re like oh okay i mean why not, treat yourself dude you’re rich, but he’s PAYING THEM BY INSTALLMENTS

THE SHEETS

BY

INSTALLMENTS

also like I appreciate the gay rep tm because like yay gay main character in a sci-fi thing but

a) one of them is named dorian

b) the infamous sheets are pink (pardon, described as “coloured the colour of pink coral”…. just say coral sheet)

c) they met at the gay village

d) they are heavily co-dependent since page 7 and I don’t think the author knows

i FEEEEEEL like this may get a bit stereotypical idk

some of you complain about tongues in fics “fighting for dominance”.

when THIS piece of prose exists:

“[the goddess’ statue protected] the two lovers’ mouths,

steaming

like fragments of magma just deflagrated from the explosion of a volcano”

i need to drink for this

~~3 glasses of bombay sapphire after~~

the gay man n2 complained about singers touching their crotches during dance moves

said penis is referred at as cob as in corn on the cob

i’m unaware whether or not the author knows about the cob vibrator but i don’t think he does

doriangray2 has apparently a tendency to dissociate and doesn’t notice alien attacks

gay man n2 reaction to aliens is “holy cow!” and like……………………………. ok i mean reletable cause i’m also dead inside but thee character was not supposed to be???

there is a discussion about which music to have sex to

they like sting and billy joel . i admit i expected at least elton john. disappointed.

potus is a character and has feelings hurt by putin 😥 missing their side-romance arc

i wish i knew

we dont

we know nothing about them except that doriangray2 is bbbbeautiful and that othergay’s “member had shivered in the night like a frail bamboo shaft” when they kissed in the park

we do know thought about a bunch of politicians’ feelings because those are getting PAGES and PAGES because the part of political criticism was so WELL MERGED

I’m back with more suffering.

After 4 pages of discussing how every fucking politician reacted to aliens (because apparently our main characters????? dont?????? exist???? anymore????) we discovered:

obama is a tsundere

putin is a sadistic top who likes power games

THERE IS SALVENEEE

SALVENE THE RACIST POLITICIAN SAID THAT ALIENS WILL STEAL RESOURCES FROM OTHER PPL BUT THEY CAN GO TO AFRICA IF THEY HAVE TO

like I get it, you want to do political satire, but then like………… not like this

our main character is worried the aliens will steal from his house which he decorated with such care 😥

i wish i was joking

i’m wondering if it’s like a critique of how people are shallow or if the author wanted to show a society emotionally unable to face actual tragedy and that therefore holds onto the capitalistic possession of goods as comfort blanket but either way all we know is he wants to keep his coral silk sheets safe

we still dont know how dorian reacted because last time we saw it he was dissociating reading gay poems while the aliens invaded

and then it was the day after

we know nothing ygritte.gif

like the idea is not even bad in general but this author has prioritizing issues and needs to consider the *show don’t tell*

he is afraid of being robbed and then the narrator tells us: X’s fragility is all in the air, but his old and unforgettable professor of letters had taught him that fragility is a force of emotion, fragility as a force of hope and an unconscious shield of anxiety, which now appears to him less intrusive.

what does this mean?

how does this help with robbery?

the gay is praying to god the aliens don’t take his house

…….i mean shouldn’t you worry about you and your husbando surviving

dorian is like YOLO IDGAF about the aliens

i think dorian has problems

XDDD I’m glad, because honestly at this point writing this down is half a coping mechanism

dorian wants the aliens to bring him on a tip of a star

i don’t think dorian knows stars irl don’t have 5 tips

dorian wonders how aliens kiss (hi monsterfucking??) but othergaydude tells him that anyway they won’t kiss as good as him

“fair enough”

ok????

they both decided aliens have gay marriage

this was the first dialogue we witnessed of our main characters

like you don’t even know if they have a sexed reproduction or genitals and you decided they have gay marriage?

also MARRIAGE? do aliens have a mammal reproductive system? and social constructs?

i’m at one fourth and i’m giving up life

“The two pandas, so Gay2 and Dorian self-label, maybe because those beasts always appear so lost with that cute face” ……………….i thought they had bad eyeliner but ok the lost with a cute face ok

they are at a museum and as an art historian i have to say no

THIS IS A ONE LINE OF A DIALOGUE:

next time ANY OF YOU – ANY – COMPLAINS ABOUT THEIR OWN WRITING AND FICS I’M GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOME AND RECITE THIS STUFF TO YOU.

AM I CLEAR?

NEVER COMPLAIN AGAIN ABOUT YOURSELVES.

14. “thanks god dorian is a capricorn, who swallow all their anger and never would dream of fighting or having a discussion when we have a problem” …………………….that sounds fake but ok

15. they want to form a jazz band with the aliens

16. i’m starting to think all this people are HIGH

17. Dorian plays the trumpet but he doesn’t know where to put his mouth. my headcanon is that this is othergaydude’s way to tell us dorian is not great @ blowjobs

18. (anothergay thinking about HIS MOM and women) “ a good narrator would say of her and all women: “when women sing they put the lips like a heart, they grow dreams, they paint nightmares, THEY GIVE BIRTH TO PUPPIES, women know how to count and how to knead: knead just enough flour, just enough tears, just enough oil” …………………………

I’m rooting for more updates!

here we go, another turn on the highway to hell =___= I finished it at last

a) it’s not out yet but apparently a local publisher is super into this draft

b) trump doesn’t appear 😦 only obama 😦 he decided to cut it, i’m sad, i wanted to see the aliens meeting him

c) …………………..you know what you’re right, i was blind, this man is paying these sheet by installments so clearly they are too expensive for the aliens

In the meantime,

turned out dorian is a minor???? who lives with other-gay since years??? and they met years ago and want to marry???? but he’s a minor so like it’s not even legal for him not to live with his parents,

the age of gay2 is not said

TW VIOLENCE: there is a huge sexual assault scene that is so clumsy and seems lifted from a fanfic written by a 13 yo as to say the straight boys are groping dorian and like get aroused and down right assault him ????? and like you know those bad yaoi trope where the bottom gets in a gang rape but then he shows no other signs of it and there are no consequences????? that

TW VIOLENCE:

it’s not even clear if his bf knows and we’re not allowed ANY SUBJECTIVE or thought that would tell us how the character feels

TW VIOLENCE:

One of these teachers said he wanted to be part of the ss???? like just like that??? and nobody reacted??? it’s not a thing that would happen, especially to a public school teacher, you can get fired for that

all of this is just thrown in your face in the flattest, less intense, less dynamic way possible

on a lighter note, THE POPE IS PROGAYS AND PROALIENS????

ALIENS ARE WELCOME THE POPE SAID SO

there is a 2 pages narrator rant on why polluting the sea is bad – i think gay2 has an ecology kink

there was an old granny 😦 and she was interesting but she dies and then …. idk how else to explain it, gay2 make it about himself? and he throws himself under a roof and whines about how he would like rain to polish his brain ??? and trees “give birth to” leaves??? as in using the partum word

while trying to make political critiques about the refugees crisis in italy the author said “the refugees would be happier prisoners of the aliens than in a welcoming camp because the welcoming camps are small”……………………………..i get what you meant man but nope

“we shall set fire to the rain!” …this is so sad alexa play adele

dorian has an affair with planets and says to the moon totally unironically “oh my moon! i would love to escape your flattering sweet nothings and yet you find me anywhere”

just to say HOW LITTLE DIALOGUE THIS BOOK HAS: the dialogue is in italics, the quotes from books or newspapers no.

“dorian is well aware of homophobia” no shit sherlock he’s gay

FINALLY AT TWO THIRDS THEY WORRY ABOUT ALIENS KILLING AND SEPARATING THEM. TWO. THIRDS.

They also realized NOW that they decided stuff about the ET, and say “maybe they’re all girls or all boys……. maybe their genesis is not like others, thereby i mean the terrestrial one” …..yeah, i guessed you didn’t mean the plutonian one, dorian

there is ONE sentence of dialogue said by dorian that goes on P A G E S

you can see where the italics+quotes stop

there is a paragraph cut

in the middle

of ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE

The narrator keeps calling them the two pandas, but between each other they only use the full name?? idk

…………..”the chocolate burns your guts and it’s so dense as it drips and squirts from the bird of the machine!!”

other valuable characters: orlandino and oswald

the solution to aliens is A LASER HAMMER

A LASER HAMMER

A LASER HAMMER

i need a moment

the author changes his opinion whether the character are religious or not once every 3 pages more or less

2nd plan: play hide-n-seek with the aliens

we’re dead, the earth is in the hands of idiots

there is a literal “and then everyone clapped moment” when the nazi professor is getting arrested

…

“he snickered with apparently serious sarcasm”

they finally talk to each other again and say something different from the full name and is “my beloved dear” and “my darling treasure” like some 80 yo grannies

gay 2 spoke for 2 word pages about a football player his father had an hateboner for and then dorian interrupts him, speaks for half a page and then we know nothing of where the football thing was going??????

the evil professor is a negationist piece of shit and ofc our main wants to call him out, which is right, but then……. he speaks for one full page in SARCASM about how the concentration camp was grand hotel and everyone was happy in luxury. like that’s a rebuttal that should last one line, not A PAGE . a page of full on sarcasm listing details like “oh and the soap smells like roses” and “oh i bet they had herbal bread” ……..too much

“she had the hands of a not-decayed duchess” ……………….a duchess so

another professor and dorian are discussing the abusive nazi professor (who is free again???) and she’s like DUDE IM SORRY HES SHIT BUT IM SCARED SO IM NOT DOING ANYTHING and we’re supposed to find her likeable despite her refusal as responsible adult to help a student????

SHE’S TELLING HIM HOW SHE LOST HER VIRGINITY TO A LOBSTER FISHERMAN

“OH MY GORGEOUS PROFESSOR THIS IS SO ROMANTIC! i’m going to imagine it’s me in your place and my boyfriend instead of yours”….. is this the au of a pwp?

They decided to marry???????????? even thought they can’t?????? because so if they are married the aliens won’t divide them????????????????????? why are they so convinced the aliens are like liberal and friendly?????

ALSO HE’S 17

TW VIOLENCE: A bully sent dorian a video to tell him they’re going to rape him again (so it was a rape? ok?) AND THE REPLY OF HIS BOYFRIEND IS “I do not understand your exasperated reaction; it is like imagining seeing yourself deformed in the apparently shattered mirrors of a window and not looking, (???????????????????????????’) however, beyond, in search of the infinite. We have to fly in other dimensions, you and me. (??????????????????’’) Or stay here as two resistant. What sense does it make you drop your face to the ground? We must be custodians of memory ”. ??????????????????

and after another yolo why so hysterical my love, gay2 is like “yo we could call the police” and dorian says no because “i don’t want to give them the satisfaction”

…………………..the true rep of male victims of violence #sarcasm

like not even a IM AFRAID or THEYLL SAY IM NOT MAN ENOUGH no =_= the satisfaction????

the aliens didn’t arrive?????

IT FINISHED BEFORE ANYTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED ???? They didn’t marry, the aliens didn’t arrive???? he didn’t even finish the exams???????

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST