tcdoherty

kaket123:

passionate-not-obsessed:

glumshoe:

binarydreams1010:

glumshoe:

changingmorphologies:

glumshoe:

Almost all of Indiana is terrible, but I really don’t think Carmel gets enough derision. Fucking Carmel! Tacky, overpriced, full of rich people, and littered with shitty statues. I hate it!

There are statues all over the sidewalks downtown, but they’re not cool statues. They’re not commemorating important historical figures, they’re not creative artistic pieces, they’re not interactive. They’re just unsettling, obtrusive, and garishly-painted statues of random civilians who look like residents of Pleasantville, like “old woman with grocery bag”:

or “white cop poised to jokingly slap your ass for a photo”:

and “corporate shill taking up bench space to keep homeless people from sleeping on it”:

They’re always in the way, they never move when you say “excuse me”, you’re constantly mistaking them for real people, and they’re UGLY. They’re so UGLY!

Dear Carmel, scrap them all and hire living statues. Mimes. I will forgive you cursed city for its crimes if you become the mime hotspot of Indiana.

Hey my hometown has one of those weird cop statues

like… the same one

SLAPPING ASSES ACROSS THE UNITED STATES

I used to live in Carmel, Indiana, and my driver’s ed teacher told me he liked to dress up as a fisherman on the weekend, and sit on an empty bench near these with his rod and tackle box, and hold perfectly still. He liked scaring people when they came up to take a picture of the “new statue”.

Your driver’s ed teacher was an entrepreneur and I think this should be how we take down Carmel, Indiana. We descend upon the town en masse as a plague of living statues.

fuck Carmel.

@lanonima @hakbot

Okay yeah all good points but do you guys remember before they were painted and they were just creepy gold statues watching you with dead eyes?

I had to drive past a bunch of them on my way to work (idk if those ones have ever been painted or if they’re still there, in all their terrible glory). I think the one I remember the best was the mother and her son.

But yeah literally what the fuck Carmel.