Shitty Silverwood Character Breakdowns:

Ithea: Hates her dad 1000% and devotes her life to destroying him. Obsessed with Power and Glory. She’d try to kill her dad and become the new 1st Lord except for the fact that she’s dying a slow and agonizing death from a Drezhein-specific disease and never tells anyone. Very dramatic, always smiling, almost always lying through her teeth. Loves her kids A LOT. Committing crimes = aesthetic. Pretty much commits suicide rather than let anyone see her sick. Zodiac: Aries

Anthem: Wants to be chill but keeps getting dragged into Ithea’s political bullshit. Obsessed with Power and Knowledge. Seriously he just wants to do research and maybe seduce some ladies Ithea please. Begrudgingly loves (some of) his kids. Likes to pretend he’s a gentleman. Zodiac: Capricorn

Ithian: Hates Anthem 1000%. Kind of nuts. Marries a girl who looked like his sister. Obsessed with Power and Strength. Terrifying dictator 0/10 would not recommend. Doesn’t realized that Ithea let him kill her. Zodiac: Aries

Charlie: Ithea’s favorite son. Hates his dad. Emotional and disciplinary issues, petty vandalism and fist fights. FASHION. Can turn into a dragon and will destroy you. Surprise actually ends up being a useful member of society with a dorky husband and adorable children. Really good at teaching and talk therapy. Zodiac: Libra

Cyan: ithea’s favorite daughter. More glamorous than anyone else. Thrilling stage career, also bootlegging and the mafia. Dresses to impress. Aggressively bisexual. Blamed all her childhood exploits on Charlie and always got away with it – also accidentally outed Charlie before he was ready to come out. Cat person. Zodiac: Leo

Gavin: Anthem’s favorite son. Anthem 2.0. Business and the mafia. Thinks he’s classy but actually he dresses like an old person. Got the best grades as a kid. Terrible brat and bully,  used magic to make the babysitter let him ride his horse in the house. Likes secrets way more than necessary. Zodiac: Virgo

Keir: ADVENTURE AND SCIENCE. Loves exploring and making friends with new cultures. Open mouth, insert foot. MacGyver’s his way out of trouble all the time. Maps???  Zodiac: Aquarius

Dumas: Adventure, science, and book deals. Constantly cleaning up after his twin. KEIR NO!!! Likes maps and books. Gets into trouble a lot and has to be rescued by his brother. Can tell entertaining stories for a month on end without stopping. Zodiac: Aquarius

Kaite: Not really a ‘school’ person. Likes gardening. Wants to be a good person, but keeps getting involved in Cyan and Gavin’s shady business deals. Anthem’s favorite daughter. Cute girls A+. Marries a princess. Bakes lots of cookies. Zodiac: Cancer

Junior: A prince? Also an honorary general. Can turn into a tiger. Everyone’s favorite royal kid. Very chill, very bisexual. Will probably be Emperor one day, if Tris ever dies. Zodiac: Taurus

Ro: Cities? No thanks. Hippie-dippy weirdo. Got teen pregnant. Happily married with so many kids. Has lots of dogs. Magical healer witch doctor. Loves her siblings but doesn’t want to talk to them ever again. Zodiac: Pisces

(Honorary Mentions)

Tris: Cursed child Empress. Will destroy you. Immortal maybe? No one is willing to test it. “I’ve held this throne through two civil wars I’m not giving it up now”. Terrifying dictator 10/10 would recommend. Functional Utopia Makes Everyone Mad. Has a soft spot for her half-brother Junior – made him her heir. (and a soft spot for Charlie too). Can turn into a snow leopard. Zodiac: Scorpio

Bird: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Can alter the fabric of reality without knowing it. Works 40 hours a day. Has a slacker husband and loves him very much. Devoted to Tris. Zodiac: Virgo